A satirical take on the way Trump handles PR crises in the style of Machiavelli’s The Prince.
We all do it from time to time, or maybe more often than that. We dig ourselves into a hole. Well folks, here’s how to handle it.
First, don’t even think about stopping digging. Stopping digging is for losers, and you’re not a loser, right?
Second, dig even harder, keep digging, double down on the digging. That will probably work.
But if it doesn’t, well then get some explosives and invite an audience to watch you blow up the hole.
Still didn’t work? Don’t worry. Claim that it isn’t really a hole and that in fact you’re sitting atop the world’s greatest non-hole and anyone who said you were in a hole is spreading ‘fake news’.
That will work so good. So good.
Then, maybe a week or two later, you can boast to everyone about how great you are at digging yourself out of holes. The greatest ever. Greater than any other president in history.
Now, at that point a left-leaning fake news journalist will point out the contradiction. “Mr President didn’t you just deny that you were in a hole?” Some people will call you an A-hole.
Now folks, the smart thing to do here is to deny you ever said you weren’t in a hole. Hopefully no-one will call you out. If they do, just say you have proof. (Don’t worry if you don’t.)
Eventually you can go ahead and tell people that you know more about holes and digging yourself out of them than just about anyone. Believe me, you know more than all the hole experts put together.
And if all that doesn’t work, just release some old files about Kennedy’s assassination. Problem solved. Nobody’s interested in holes anymore.